


So Let Me Think Of How To Word It (Is It Too Soon To Say 'Perfect'?)

by starrywrite



Series: Robot AU [7]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff without Plot, M/M, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Romance, Robots, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 07:23:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3348578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrywrite/pseuds/starrywrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valentine’s Day is a day like no other. While many scoff at the commercialized concepts of February 14th, the story behind the holiday is rather romantic. It tells the tale of a priest who, after getting arrested for performing secret marriage ceremonies, fell in love with the daughter of his jailer. Legends say that the emperor sent the apple of his eye a letter signed, “from your Valentine.” A truly beautiful and inspiring tale, and one that makes Phil’s circuit breaker overload, at that, because it’s just too much for him to handle.</p><p>Phil soon came to learn, however, that humans didn't care about any of the history; they just wanted chocolate and roses. </p><p>companion piece/deleted scenes for my fic "Even Robots Need Blankets"</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Let Me Think Of How To Word It (Is It Too Soon To Say 'Perfect'?)

**Author's Note:**

> happy day before valentines day from tumblr user howellsprincess and robot!phil B) enjoy <333

Valentine’s Day is a day like no other. While many scoff at the commercialized concepts of February 14th, the story behind the holiday is rather romantic. It tells the tale of a priest who, after getting arrested for performing secret marriage ceremonies, fell in love with the daughter of his jailer. Legends say that the emperor sent the apple of his eye a letter signed, “from your Valentine.” A truly beautiful and inspiring tale, and one that makes Phil’s circuit breaker overload, at that, because it’s just too much for him to handle.

Phil soon came to learn, however, that humans didn’t care about any of the history; they just wanted chocolate and roses. 

Valentine’s Day had become so commercialized over the years. It was less about the love, and more about what to get and how big and how much money to spend. Most couples only did something for Valentine’s Day because they felt like they _had_ to - like there was some couple criteria that everyone had to meet, and everyone was more stressed about it being the perfect day than actually focusing on the romance of things. Or at least, that’s how Dan explained it to him when Phil asked what he had planned to do for the holiday - “It’s not even a _real_ holiday; it’s a marketing scheme.” Phil tried to explain to Dan the story of the priest and tell him that Valentine’s Day _is_ a real holiday. But his human was still unconvinced because he then went on another rant about how “love is dead” and “nobody even really cares about each other anymore, they just care about not being alone and that’s not what love is.” Phil had to make Dan a cup of tea to calm him down. 

The bot made a mental note not to ask Dan about Valentine’s Day again, because as much as he loves listening to Dan talk for hours on end, he doesn't want to upset him anymore. But Phil can’t stop thinking about it - why is Dan so averse to Valentine’s Day? Did someone break his heart in the past? (Not literally, because Phil learned the human’s internal organs were not literally shattered by other humans, but metaphorically at that. Phil doesn't pick up on metaphors and sarcasm easily so he was thankful for the explanation). 

Or maybe Dan has never had a Valentine before, and that is why he’s so jaded on love. Maybe he’s never had someone to remind him how loved he truly is, and that’s why Dan doesn't think love is still alive and thriving. Phil can empathize as has never had a Valentine either - though, that doesn't surprise him; before Dan he didn't really have anyone. He briefly wonders if Dan had anyone before him, but then he realizes that he doesn't think he did. He remembers how sad Dan was when they first met, how badly Dan just craved companionship and how utterly alone he felt, even when Phil was around. And even though Dan is happy now, maybe - just maybe - there’s a part of him that’s still sad and lonely even though he has Phil. 

Phil doesn't want Dan to feel alone or sad ever again. Because he isn't; he has Phil. Phil loves him so much and even though Phil still struggles with understanding if he is, in fact, capable of loving someone, he knows he loves Dan. He knows that Dan is the most important human ever - and he’s not biased because Dan is _his_ human - and he wants Dan to know just how loved he truly is. 

That’s when Phil decides to be his Valentine this year. 

Truthfully, Phil doesn't exactly know _how_ to be a Valentine. This is something that is new to him and he just wants to do a good job, he wants to be the best Valentine Dan has ever had. He knows he has to be ‘romantic’ but what exactly does ‘romanticism’ entail? Flowers and chocolates? Poetry? Presents? All of the above?

So, like he does with most things he doesn't understand, Phil does his research. He stumbles across an article in the midst of his searches called ‘How to Plan the Perfect Valentine’s Day for Your Wife (with Examples’ and he decides to pretend that Dan is his wife, just for the sake of research, because he could definitely use examples. 

_1\. Plan at least one surprise. It's always nice to have your expectations surpassed. This is why you must plan at least one surprise that you know she wouldn't expect in a million thoughts._

_2\. Be frivolously juvenile again. Hey, you're spending a day with a wonderful woman. It's worth throwing some caution aside. Take her out to dessert, and if she can't decide between two desserts, order them both. Try to win her a stuffed animal from the arcade, or buy her a bouquet of balloons big enough to lift a small child off the ground. Take her back to her childhood for a bit of fun, just so that she feels worth it._

_3\. Focus on her. In the morning, have her favorite breakfast with her. In the evening, rent the movie she wants to see. Sit through it and act happy; your suffering will pay off in her gratitude for your fortitude! If you buy chocolates or flowers, make sure they’re her favorite; bonus points if they're ones she rarely has because of their price and exclusivity._

_4\. Think back on your memories together. What did you do when you were just starting out? If you went to Wendy’s all the time, show up at the door with two "Frosties" and the first movie you saw together._

_5\. Try a big, romantic gesture. Visit somewhere out of a book or movie she likes. Take her somewhere cold where she has to wear gloves, then pull off one glove at a time and kiss every fingertip (she will melt at this gesture). Bring home so many flowers it looks like you bought out the flower stand, or pick a bouquet of wild flowers. Wash her hair for her or serenade her––it’s okay to use a stereo._

_6\. Proclaim your love to the world. Or at least to a few people. Send her flowers at work so everyone can see, or stop her in the middle of the crowd and kiss her. Write your initials in sidewalk chalk. Hire a mariachi band to play outside her window or office._

_7\. Tell her all day that she’s beautiful. Buy her a beautiful vintage hand-held mirror and say a woman so lovely deserves to look at herself in a mirror as delicately crafted as she is._

_8\. Spend time with her. Set your alarm early and hold her close in the morning. If she has to go somewhere, walk her out to her car just to open the door. Go rollerblading together. Show up at school to pick up the kids with her. Slow dance to jazz love songs or just sing to her and dance under the stars. Do things that revive the magic in your romance._

Phil considers it all; it seems like a lot of information to take in, with such short notice too, but he still feels slightly confident that he’ll be the best Valentine for Dan. 

* * *

Phil waits eagerly for eight hours to pass since Dan has gone to bed, and once his human is fully charged, he enters his room and promptly awakens him so they can begin their Valentine’s Day festivities. 

“Good morning, Dan!” he says happily, ignoring the way Dan groans when Phil yanks his duvet off and opens the curtains. “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Dan sits up in his bed, swinging his legs over the edge as he slouches He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and yawns as he asks, “What?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Phil repeats. 

“Oh.” Dan blinks in confusion. “Uh, thank you. But Phil, we've been through this - you know that Valentine’s Day is just a bunch of bullshit.” 

“Not this year,” the bot replies. “Phil is Dan’s Valentine this year because Phil loves Dan, and Phil does not want Dan to be sad.”

Dan blinks again. “Wait, what?” is all he can say.

Phil bends down to pick up the tray he placed on the floor of Dan’s room, revealing to him a lovely breakfast that Phil had put together himself. Toast, pancakes, and coffee, all of Dan's favorites. Phil even ventured outside to pluck a rose from Dan’s neighbor’s garden to place upon the breakfast tray as well. “Step three,” Phil explains, placing the tray on Dan’s lap. “Focus on her. In the morning, have her favorite breakfast with her.”

“Her?” Dan asks, his eyebrow raising.

“‘Her’ is Dan,” Phil replies. “Phil’s research did not find Valentine’s Day plans specifically for Dans, so Phil had to improvise.” 

The dimples in his cheeks sink in as he finally begins to smile, a look of disbelief on his face as he glances from the breakfast before him to Phil, who stands there with his blue eyes gleaming brightly and the happiest look on his face. “Thank you, Phil,” Dan tells him, sincerely. “Really - this is amazing, better than anything I could’ve ever asked for.”

“Phil is not done yet,” Phil says, and he bends down again to pick up a piece of paper from the floor as well. He unfolds it as he says, “Phil has written a poem for Dan - step five, try a big, romantic gesture. Phil could not take Dan somewhere cold where he has to wear gloves or wash Dan’s hair without short circuiting, so Phil decided to write him a poem.”

“Wash my hair - you know what, never mind.” The smile on Dan's face grows even wider than before. “Let’s hear your poem.”

“Dan will like it; Phil has done a lot of research,” the bot tells him, feeling oh, so proud of himself as he looks to the piece of paper and begins to read Dan his poem. “Roses are red, violets are blue. Daffodils are yellow, daisies are yellow _and_ white. Lilies are white and pink, cactuses are green -” 

Phil finds himself interrupted when Dan snorts out a laugh, immediately clamping his hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he tells him. “Keep going, it’s really great so far.”

Phil looks down at the paper. “This list is very long,” he says. “And it it does not rhyme. Phil is sorry; he does not think he is doing this correctly. But Phil wants Dan to know that he is very pretty like a flower.” 

Dan giggles a little, looking down at his lap and fidgeting with his hair, and Phil notices how his face tints a light shade of pink now. “Thank you,” he says softly. 

“Does Dan like this Valentine’s Day surprise?” Phil ask, going over to take a seat next to him on his bed.

“Yeah, of course, are you kidding?” Dan replies.

“No,” Phil tells him. 

Dan snorts out another laugh. “I love my Valentine’s Day gifts, Phil,” he says. “You didn't have to get me anything.”

“Phil wanted to get Dan Valentines,” he says. “Because Phil loves Dan, and Phil does not want Dan to be sad anymore.”

“What do you mean?” the brunet asks. “I’m not sad.”

“But Dan is not happy all the time,” Phil explains. “Phil can see the sad in Dan’s eyes still.”

“I -” Dan stutters for a moment, not sure what to say now. 

“It’s okay for Dan to be sad,” Phil tells him after a moment of silence. “Sadness is a normal human emotion and Dan’s sadness is valid, simply because he feels them, but Phil wants Dan to remember that he is not alone. And that Phil loves Dan very much.”

It takes Dan a moment to compose himself after Phil says all that, but when he does he wraps his arms around the bot and hugs him as tight as he can - which albeit, is not _very_ tight, seeing as hugging a metallic android is not all that comfortable - and he says, “Thank you, Phil. I love you too.” 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Dan,” the bot says yet again. Phil is thrilled, and he can’t help but to feel proud of himself. He knows that he cannot fix all of Dan’s problems all by himself and he knows that that he cannot single handedly take away Dan’s sadness. But he knows that he can remind Dan that he’s _always_ going to be here for him because he loves Dan more than anything, and anyone, ever. And he hopes one day that the sadness will be gone from Dan’s eyes forever.


End file.
